The 10 fights you wish you'd seen first hand

This Intertubes has lots on it. Only yesterday I was shown a website called "Google" where you can hunt for almost anything. It's amazing. After that, I was shown something called a MySpace. You can write to all kinds of people on there if you like and tell them all about yourself. Whatever next. I signed up and already have 13 friends. It's un-be-lievable. This morning, I discovered the YouTube, which will let you watch videos from all over the world. It's quite astonishing. I've put together a collection of the 10 best fights that I found on the YouTube for your viewing pleasure. Just wait until you see number one. Incredible.

10. David Belle vs. Lots of baddies (District B13)
Ok, I know the first one on this list isn't technically a fight, but there's fighting in it, and it's awesome. Anyway it's my list and I can put whatever I want on it, so there.



9. Dwarf vs. Midget Muay Thai
Early money would be on the dwarf in this, because even though he's about three foot tall, he's still twice the size of the midget. The outcome may not be what you expect. At 1:35 is one of the most amazing things you'll see in any video, ever. Prepare to have your mind blown.



8. Tony Jaa vs. Lateef Crowder (from The Protector)
The first (but not the last) choreographed fight to make the list. Muay Thai vs Capoeria, in water, and fire. Yes please.



7. Buffalo vs. Lion vs. Crocodile
Sometimes natures kicks ass too. Sometimes it bites. Sometimes it springs out of the water. This is one and all of those times.



6. Dad vs. Kids
Parents usually hate their kids. They'll use any excuse to kick their infant son in the face. "Honey, I'm just going to film a martial arts video with the kids". "Ok dear, just don't rip his spleen out with your bare hands again". Touching family moments.



5. Midget vs. Midget (Jerry Springer)
If you don't end up chanting "Jerry, Jerry, Jerry" at the end of this, you just ain't cool. But, if you chant along with "Take them off, take them off", you're just plain sick.



4. Pimp vs. Jay Li
Back in the days when I was a pimp, I used to hate it when uppity crackers used to tell me not to beat on my hoe. She's my hoe fool and I'll do what I like.



3. Ken vs Chun Li (Street Fighter)
Yes it's a game, and no you probably don't 'get' the awesomeness of it. Ken (the boy) does a 14 move parry (much harder than just a block) on Chun Li (the girl) before retaliating with a twelve move finishing combo of his own. Twelve moves. That loads. That's the same as the number of toes I have. Wow.



2. Chinaman vs. Chinamen
Now I understand why so many people are terrified of Chinese people.



1. William Shatner vs. Some alien lizard thing
Undoubtedly the most thrilling and actioned packed fight scene ever to have ever been caught on camera. The speed and intensity in the first 20 seconds almost made me crap my pants.