If Jack Bauer twittered, he'd use caps a lot

Up until last weekend, I'd never watched 24 before. What was I thinking? This show is awesome. Over the course of one weekend, I churned through all 18 hours of the first series, twittering as I watched.

Ever wondered what it would look like if someone twittered their thoughts on an entire TV series? If so, today is your lucky day, as what follows is everything that went through my head as I ploughed through series one. If not, well, fuck you man.

Warning. Contains naughty words in capital letters and dramatic overuse of punctuation. SWEAR SHOUTING!!!!

• And so the 24 marathon begins...


• A black senator? He's bound to get shot. Them's be the rules


• Oooo, Elisha Cuthbert - hot hot hot


• She's evidently trouble though


• So it's real-time? In that case he just drove to work in the time it takes me to put on my shoes


• 12:22:56


• Mason's a fucker. Fact


• 12:38:44


• That Jack's a clever hacking, listening dart shooting fella


• Ooo, mini-skirt chick is a baddy!!!


• She's not going to do what I think she's going to do is she?


• Holy fucking shit - plane go bye byes!!!


• 1:02:19


• Clever keycard smuggling - I like it


• 1:29:11 - that "get a security code just by clicking on a building" software is neat!


• I don't trust Alan Walsh. I find him suspicious. He's just too calm


• 1:52:14 - Senator has one walkies - bad senator


• That Jack drives with no concern for his fellow road user


• It was Nina!!! Dirty two crosser.


• Hold up, am I jumping the gun here. I know what these programs are like!


• Free heroin. Score


• Catching a baseball bat - that's a commendable feat!


• Lesbian baddies. Double win


• 2:39:06 - They is on the run... run girles - run


• Ah perfume, the kidnappers greatest allie


• The lesson to be learnt is that if you walk into the road, cars will hit and possibly kill you


• Oh. No. Not kill


• Why whenever someone says "don't move", they run?


• 3:52:31 - Black police woman's gonna get it. She's bound to. She's a black police lady.


• Well I called that one


• Oh noes - infiltration before interegation


• A jailbreak? Because they're easy? Suuuure they are Jack. Piece of piss


• Body in the 'trunk' is all kinds of messed up


• Alan Yorke is definitely suspicious. If my daughter was crashing in hospital, I'd be going fucking spare!


• 05:14:52 - So the wife's a piece of shit too. Is no-one "good" in this series?


• Don't trust the senators wife one bit. She's up to no good


• Using your phone in a hospital Jack? Naughty naughty


• Holy fuck = Bad pretend Alan Yorke, very bad


• Hahaha - stuck in a car with bad Alan. Cool


• SMASH! Rock + head = unconciousness


• Taking Nina hostage!?! What next Jack?


• NIKKI'S A RAT!!! RAT RAT RAT


• AND HE SHOT NINA!!! OMG! (yes, I intend for all of these caps)


• HA! Flak jacket. Awesome. Bet the fall off the edge hurt though


• COMPROMISED!


• Run Jack Run!


• "I've killed two people since midnight. I've been awake for over 24 hours. So maybe you should be a little more afraid of me right now"


• Alberta Green just arrived to direct CTU. I sense that she sucks ass


• I need a sharp knife like that. Or a saw. Not for killing though, for cutting wood.


• pow Pow POW - gunfights and chases - loving it!


• BOOOOOM


• Women. No sense of direction


• I sense they're not out of the woods yet. I mean, there's 11 hours to go yet


• SUSPICIOUS OF EVERYONE!! They're all baddies


• BOOBIES!


• EPIC CODE WIN!!!


• Bob's dead. Dropping like flys. There'll be no cast left at this rate - one more before bed


• Somethings wrong with wifey


• Way to drop your daughter off a cliff Terry. Fucking clever. Kill the one hot person in the show.. jeeeez


• And now you just faint. What a liability


• HAHHAHAA... A sting! Have THAT Carl!


• Terry has amnesia, that's right, I remember now (see what I did there)


• 5:41:27 - The senator's wife isn't to be trusted. She's a fuck-nut


• HAHAHAH - tricked you bitch


• See kids, if you try and do drug deals, things go bad. Become a rock star instead and get them for free


• "Do you mean the campaign or us?" Great line senator


• SHE'S A SHIT. SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!


• Hold up, is that Dennis Hopper?


• Haha, she fancies the senator. Slut


• Shoot him!!!


• Don't let him go!!! Jeeez - shoot him ffs!


• Now THAT was a sexy little jail monologue!! Growl


• Yes, Dennis Hopper's accent is legendary - you are correct!


• Speech writer is trying it on - whorish behaviour!! Niiiice


• Is the senator going to try it on with his aide? Good man


• Sex'in it up with the champers! Golden trick


• Though it's in white wine glasses. Not so classy


• OMG - the wife is behind it all. What a bitch!


• Why do I sense that the senator is actually more in control of this bitch than he's making out


• Hahah, senator WIN!!


• OMFG!!!! It WAS NINA!!!!


• RAT RAT RAT - Jake's gonna fuck you all up


• pow Pow POW - bang Bang BANG. KaBOOM!


• And now you're dead


• Terry knows. Nina's fucked. Fucking fucked (yes, I'm on a swear-a-thon right now)


• We're about to see Nina murder Nikki aren't we?


• Bye bye Mrs Senator. Now pack your bags and bugger off. "Hit the road Jack, and don't ya come back..."


• OMG, it Terry dead?


• Fin