The only possible reason for the new facebook design

It must have gone something like this. There's no other explanation. Unless of course, they're all retarded*

Facebook Board Meeting - August 2008
Mark Zuckerberg (creator of Facebook): "So guys, we've just launched a new redesign. What's the reaction out there in pleb-land?" (As a gazillionaire, Mark refers to everyone who's worth less than seven figures as a 'pleb')
Christopher Cox (Director of Product): "Erm. Yeah. Pretty. Erm. Yeah. Erm... Good." (Chris is always a nervous wreck around Mark.)
MZ: "Listen minion. If you need to say something, spit it out or I'll choke you to death with hundred dollar bills."
CC: "It's just that... people are using Twitter."
MZ: "THEY'RE USING WHAT!?!"
Lori Goler (Director of Human Resources): "Yes. Apparently it's quite popul..."
MZ: "CRAM IT WOMAN. Nobody asked you." (Though hiring them into senior roles for legal equality purposes, Mark hates all women. Ask anyone.)
LG: "I was just sayi..."
MZ: "I said shut up dammit" (Mark says 'dammit' all the time. It's like his catch-phrase.) "Don't make me have to tell you again."
LG: "But I..."
MZ: "God dammit. Look woman, go and fetch me some tea."
LG: "Seriously..."
MZ: "TEA DAMMIT"
*Lori leaves the room - probably crying. It's a fact that women cry whenever they're asked to do the simpliest of tasks*
MZ: "Now, where were we?"
CC: "Erm, Twitter, erm, sir."
MZ: "God dammit. What do they have that we don't?"
Jonathan Heiliger (VP of Technical Operations): "You see everything that's going on on one page, and you can follow anyone you like, and they don't ask for a status, they ask 'What are you doing?'" (John is always cool under pressure. He's like Frozone from The Incredibles. But white.)
MZ (at CC): "Why the Hell don't our users see everything on one page?"
CC: "Well, erm, because we decided to, erm, utilise cool AJAX and JBOS technologies and to, erm, well, erm, allow our users to customise their erm, viewing experience and erm, set up their, erm, profiles to reflect, their, erm, you know, themselves."
MZ: "Well that's not good enough. I want all of the plebs to see everything on one page. And let's change our text from status update. You say Twitter says 'What are you doing?'. Yes. That's good. Let's use that."
JH: "I don't think directly copying them is a good idea Mark."
MZ: "Maybe you're right John" (Mark is nice to John because he thinks he has a pretty smile) "Let's use 'What the fuck are you up to?'"
JH: "Again Mark, I have to say, I don't think using the word 'fuck' is such a good idea"
MZ: "Well what do you suggest then? 'What the hell are up to?' 'What the crap are you up to?'"
JH: "Maybe we could try having no swearing at all. How about 'What's on your mind?'"
MZ *ponders for a moment*: "Yes. Yes. That could work God dammit. Great idea John. Here, have another million pounds."
*Mark hands John a briefcase full of money. The unlock code is always 666*
MZ: "Now what about this Ajax stuff you were talking about. Is that the football team. I don't remember telling you that you could buy them God dammit."
CC: "No, not erm, Ajax, sir. It's AJAX. It erm, allows, erm people to customise their erm, viewing experince and load, erm, content and stuff, errr, dynamically."
MZ: "Well there's our problem. What do plebs know about websites. Nothing. Take that all away. They don't need that."
CC: "But it erm, scored highly on erm, usability tests, and, erm..."
MZ: "Look Chris, I don't pay you to think. I pay you to do, so just do it God dammit."
CC: "Erm, yes. Ok then sir. Whatever you say sir."
*CC looks forlorn and upset*
MZ: "What's the problem now God dammit"
CC: "I just, I don't think that, erm, taking away the users power is, erm, is such a good idea... I just think..."
MZ: "God dammit man, you're a mess. Get out of my sight and go and clean yourself up this instant."
CC: "Erm, ok sir"
*CC starts to leave, but as he exits the room he knocks the returning Lori over with the door who spills the tea everywhere*
MZ: "For God's sake woman. Can you do nothing right? What did I even hire you for anyway? This place is a fucking disgrace. It had better be sorted out before I come back. Come on John. Let's get out of here"
*Mark and John step onto their custom made solid gold Segways and drift out of the room, only slowed slightly by the bump that is Lori's outstretched legs*

*note for facebook legal team. This is just a spoof. This actually probably didn't happen. Probably.

UPDATE: I just recieved this from readwriteweb.com. Apt good sir, very apt.